Day 5

9:00 pm - Hayes has continued to do great on the nasal cannula, and his stats have remained solid.  And although I knew he would do wonderfully, it was such a great feeling to wave good-bye to that stinky old ventilator as it was wheeled out of the room.  His left lung is still pretty junky though, so he is continuing to receive regular breathing treatments...and I am not sure if it is our imagination, but he seems to sound a little better after each one.  So, since everything has been going fairly smoothly, we decided it was time to start getting a sense of normalcy back in our lives.  Cody went in to work for a few hours, Hayes has slowly begun wearing his helmet again, and most importantly - I got to hold my sweet boy for a few joyous minutes.  Oh, how I loved those few minutes...even if they were for a greater cause.  See, the only reason I got to hold him is that he has gotten the go-ahead to begin breastfeeding.  I was so excited to get these orders, and I just knew that he would be thrilled to start nursing again too.  However, he has absolutely no interest in it...at least for today.  (And could you really blame the guy after having tubes shoved down your throat for almost a week?!?)  Hoping that we will continue to get a little closer to our normal lives tomorrow and that our little man will finally eat!

2:00 pm - Okay, so I will make this update short and sweet (or at least try to).  After a breathing treatment and PICU rounds this morning, it was decided that Hayes could be extubated!  Of course, hearing this news gave us mixed emotions.  We were so ready to see our baby boy free of some of those yucky tubes...but we were also scared that he was not quite ready after hearing that his lung had collapsed just a few short hours ago.  The doctors and nurses reassured us that he was, then left us in anticipation as they tended to another patient.  Right around lunch time (actually right in the middle of us taking turns for lunch!), the doctors decided to go ahead and pull the tubes!  Hayes was immediately given a breathing treatment through CPAP and then switched over to the nasal cannula for precaution.  Although he still sounds a little junky, everyone is very pleased with his stats and progress.  Isn't it amazing how much can change from one update to the next?  Guess that's just life on the ICU rollercoaster!

A sweet mommy and baby moment right before extubation. 

So happy to be rid of those tubes!

8:30 am - This morning I realized that this is the longest I have gone without holding my baby boy. Even when he was newly born and in the NICU, I was able to hold him after just three days. Now, today marks four. My arms feel so empty, and I long for the moment that he will be placed in my arms yet again. And unfortunately, it looks like that moment will not come any time soon. Over night, he was gradually weaned off the ventilator and onto the CPAP setting. He was doing great, and his lab work consistently looked good. We were finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But just as we were nearing extubation, an x-ray was taken of his lungs...and we were all surprised to see that his left lung was starting to collapse again. The light that we had just seen quickly turned to dark. We feel like we are back to square one. Back to the ventilator setting and aggressive breathing treatments...and back to my longing heart and empty arms.