31 weeks down, and only 9 more to go. According to my piles of pregnancy books, this is the point where most expectant mothers are overwhelmed with excitement. All of their worries and fears have subsided, and they simply count down the days until they get to hold their little bundle of joy. Yes, there are normal delivery jitters, but the main stresses right now should include picking out an outfit to bring the baby home in and deciding which relatives will be there to help out when you and the baby come home in a day or two.
However, I feel like quite the opposite is happening to me. All of the bravery and confidence I have had throughout this pregnancy seems to be slipping away, and it is being replaced with anxiety and concern. I often wake up in the middle of the night scared for what Hayes will go through after he leaves the safety of my body and wondering how Cody and I are going to make it through the next several months - physically, emotionally, and financially. My stresses include whether or not my baby boy will be able to breathe or feed and wondering what I can do to keep his omphalocele free of infection. I worry about finding a way to see my little one each day if he is an hour away in the medical center, and I am not able to drive after having a cesarean section. I am overwhelmed as I sort through the constant flow of medical bills, and I wonder how we will pay the extra expenses once I am on maternity leave. I face all of these fears and so many more on a daily basis, and the weight seems to be getting heavier as my due date approaches.
I'm sorry if it seems like I am writing this post for sympathy or for sorrow. Those are not my intentions. I just want to ensure that this blog is a true and honest account of what it is like to have an O baby. It is not all about good news and extra sonograms. It is about a sweet baby boy who unfortunately has a major battle to face once he enters into this world and the parents that will love and support him through it all.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Just a note to let you know I am thinking about you, sorry it has been a while. Although all O babies/pregnancies are different, I have been in your shoes and can attest and validate the feelings you are having-Max has been in the NICU for 10 weeks, but doing very well. Yes, the unkowns are there and quite anxiety provoking, however at this point "it is what it is" and try to enjoy these last weeks of your pregnancy. It is a roller coaster of emotions before and after the birth. Can you stay in the hospital a couple of days longer? I was offered that and wish I had taken them up on it. I was driving after 10 days, but I am only 20 minutes from the hospital. Is there any hospital housing that you could utilize while you cant drive? About the bills, I know, my husband and I open them and laugh because it is so crazy ridiculous, really... $13k for labs for one month? (I have no advice on this one)....I will say that these O babies are so special and are such fighters. It is amazing what they can go through and continue to thrive. You are doing all the rights things, keep it up! Wishing you all the best and praying for your family.
Kelly. I can only Imagine the anxiety you must be feeling right now. It's great that you are able to express it here on this blog because so many people are ready to absorb as much as they can from you. We are all here to support you. Although I might not be in your shoes I am sending you as much love and support as I can. Have no fear, you will handle everything to the best of your ability. And your abilitys are Amazing.
Post a Comment